Everyday Ethology: Do Our Horses Love Us?

By Désirée Braganza, EdD, EBQ

Reader Question:

“Do horses love us for who we are or for what we provide them?”

I love this question because it touches on the profound nature of our relationships with equines. Writing a response required introspection and a willingness to confront some uncomfortable truths about how humans have historically interacted with and “loved” horses. Concepts like love, connection, and trust are particularly hard to define—especially when applied to nonhuman animals. Rather than attempt to pin down a single definition, we’ll explore how horses may express these qualities in their own unique ways.

A History of Love or Use?

Before we can examine whether horses love us, we must first reflect honestly on how we, as humans, have historically “loved”—or perhaps failed to love—horses.

If love is an action, our actions toward horses often reveal a pattern of use rather than care. Through domestication, we’ve taken horses from their natural habitats, separated them from their families, and disrupted the roles and relationships that define their lives as social mammals. In their natural state, equines live in tightly knit communities where individual talents and roles contribute to the group’s success. Words like family and community are not misplaced when describing their bonds.

Yet despite these constraints, horses continue to adapt, offering glimpses of connection and affection.

A Story of Mutual Recognition

To explore this topic further, I reached out to Jim Schwender, who shared a personal story of mutual recognition and companionship set in a wild, untamed environment for humans and horses.

Jim recalls his years as a professional hunter in Alaska during his thirties:

“We’d spend three months out there at a time—no fences, no roads, just open land. Sometimes the only path forward was the one carved by thousands of caribou moving together.”

During those years, Jim typically worked with leased horses, but once he was allowed to bring his own, Phoebe became his go-to partner for several trips. “She was eight the first time I brought her, and I’d raised her since she was two. There wasn’t a better partner for that kind of work.”

Phoebe quickly adapted to the routine. “Every morning, she’d call the three geldings and bring them into camp, like it was her job. And she kept an eye on me all the time—not because she was nervous, but like she was supervising. I used to hide behind bushes just to see what she’d do. She’d stop, look around, and wait until she found me.”

When asked why he considers his relationship with Phoebe an expression of love, Jim answers simply: “It’s companionship. Knowing someone’s got your back. Forty years later, I still remember her acts of grace like they happened yesterday.”

Reflecting on Your Own Experiences

So, do horses love us? I encourage you to reflect on the ways your horses have expressed affection—or something akin to it—over the years. Have they ever revealed love in surprising ways? Were there subtle moments, overt ones? Do you recall instances where you realized they were showing you love in ways that at first, did not look like traditional expressions of love?

Share your stories in the comments or message us—we’d love to hear them!

Further Reading for Book Enthusiasts

About the Authors

Désirée Braganza, EdD, EBQ, earned her equine behaviorist qualification from the Natural Animal Centre, formerly based in the UK and South Africa. As a member of Bodhi Horse Practice, she collaborates with equine professionals worldwide on research projects exploring the experiences of domesticated horses through an ethological lens. Based in Athens, Georgia, Désirée consults internationally, both in-person and virtually.

Jim Schwender and his wife Catherine, a physician, own Apalachee Meadows Horse Boarding and Hay Sales in Bogart, Georgia. Jim practices environmentally conscious farming methods passed down through generations—from his grandfather and uncles in West Virginia to homesteaders in Wyoming. His land stewardship supports equine welfare by maintaining a sustainable number of horses, ensuring the land is never overstocked.